“Everyone has a story. Every person that has ever lived has experienced pain in some form.”
‘From My Heart To Yours Can Anybody Feel Me?’ is Kendia Laramore’s personal story.
Kendia, a young Bahamian author talks about her book and why she decided to write such a personal story.
From My heart to Yours Can Anybody Feel Me? was written as a healing outlet, Kendia states, “I had just lost what to me was the greatest love I had ever known. With that loss came much reflection of the time when “ugly love” was all I knew.” I believe that telling the truth absolves you from so many negative ascensions. “The Book touches on my experience with Sexual Abuse and Child Molestation and the aftermath of emotional trauma that I carried into all my relationships throughout my adult life. In the book I also talk about my last relationship and the inevitable break up which was the reason for my downward spiral into depression and a roller-coaster of unhealthy emotions.”
Kendia says that her goal with this book is to encourage women to learn how to love themselves first before they can love anyone and that they need to understand that in order to heal they must first forgive themselves and understand their true worth and value. She also wants parents ‘to raise awareness and be more cognizant about the change in behavior of their children’.
“I want parents to hug their children and to nurture more open relationships with their kids so that they will know when something out of the ordinary happens. “The kids won’t fear being thought of as liars or not telling the truth!”
How long did it take you to write this book?
My whole life figuratively speaking! But I wrote this book in one year, the shortest time I have ever written anything of this magnitude. The reason being is because I didn’t have to use imagination nor fancy or impressive words. This was my life, my story the things that I actually experienced, so it was easy for me to put onto paper and turn into a story.
Was it easy writing this book?
Easy, no I cried so much as I re-opened wounds that I had buried as a pre-teen. I had to dig deep down to my very core to tell this story. There were many days that I cried as I typed the words on my computer screen. Some new emotions struck as I recalled some of the many memories, for the most part with regards to my pre-teen and teenage life. I renewed a hatred for some memories and birthed new resentment for others. There were moments when I literally had to take a break from the writing because the pain and anguish from those memories were so overbearing and emotionally draining.
Sexual abuse and child molestation are issues that are often hidden under a cloak of silence. In The Bahamas, subjects such as these are considered “taboo”.
She continues, “This cause is very important to me as it has become more and more of a festering issue in our country and too many persons have suffered this terrible and preternatural tragedy. It is a personal experience of mines to have dealt with child abuse, sexual molestation, depression and thoughts of suicide, but I know first-hand that these are some of the many reasons women are so full of insecurities and why they destroy potentially great relationships be it platonic or monogamous. An individual that has been abused, be it physical or sexual, man or woman, is a damaged and broken individual, they are not truly capable of forgiveness or love if they have first not given those two things to themselves. That’s the worst part of that trauma, you blame yourself for what happened to you instead of realizing you were the victim of a circumstance that in most cases you had no control over.”
Who has had the most impact on your life?
Oddly enough it is not a person but a thing. Pain and struggle has molded me and my decisions throughout my entire teen hood and adult life. Every choice that I made was a direct reflection of what I was running away from. I never wanted to end up being like my mother. I never wanted to become a product of my environment but to an extent that is exactly what happened to me.
When you were reflecting on your past and writing did you stop and think, wait this is going to destroy lives, this is going to ostracize me from my family and the people I call friends?
As a matter of fact those things were the second thing on my mind.With each page I wrote and with each memory I typed, but I had to take a deep breath and for once in my life care about Kendia. Writing this book literally freed me. My ex said to me through our break up that I needed to “stop playing the victim” even though his criticism was misdirected he was right. I needed to stop caring about people that didn’t care about me and stop allowing them to hurt me and to take up residence in my life that should be preserved for meaningful people and events. Ironically enough he was the first person that I stopped caring about. The tears, the mental anguish I let it all pour out onto the pages of this book and I had to say my apologies to every one as I wrote this.
The biggest loss I knew was to come would be my family. I was going to lose my sisters and even though it saddened me, it really didn’t matter because we weren’t close. My baby sister is my heart, I feared losing her friendship most, which is why I told her before I told anyone else that I was writing this book. The friends, that didn’t bother me at all because when I was going through what for me was my most darkest hour, there were only three women that stuck by me. I am acquainted with a lot of people, but other than those three, no one else was around, no one called me to check up on me, no one called to see if I needed anything, no one cared! I went through it all by myself, so me telling my story about what I experienced and the people that came into my life that helped to create this story are all a part of my truth. I have not lied or embellished anything here. It’s just a matter of secrets being exposed and things that took place unbeknownst to some are now revealed. The truth is what I believe in regardless of how bad it hurts.
Shedding light on these experiences and offering encouragement ‘that healing is the best answer to having healthy relationships’ are her main focus.
“Healing has to be a joint venture between finding God and the desire to acknowledge the truth and root of the problem. “
The book is available online at Amazon.com, Barnes and Nobles. It is also available locally in the Bahamas at Chapter One Book Store, Buy The Book Bookstore, Bookworld and Stationers and Logos Bookstore. Price on amazon.com = $11.99, local price, $15. The book was released on April 13, 2015.
*The public is reminded that suspected cases of child abuse can be reported to the Department of Social Services by way of the national hotline and these numbers are (242) 322-2763 or (242) 422-2763.*
© 2015 Nu Woman Magazine